After we had Lauren, we closed door on having more babies.
Two kids were enough, the girls were close together and life was crazy.
... But 5 years ago we made an deal to revisit having more in 5 years.
Fast forward 5 years and I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
Were we really done?
One of us might have been more done than the other, but nevertheless we had the talk and agreed we had room for ONE more.
But this time around, it was a family affair. We talked with the girls and they were so excited at the possibility of having a baby and they've been 100% committed and involved from day one. But you know you can't really prepare kids for what having a newborn is actually like...
Anyway, I'll skip the details but let's just say this kid was SO wanted.
The day we found out we were pregnant I just couldn't believe it. While seeing the pink lines was surreal, nothing compared to the feeling of finding out that # 3 was ... a BOY.
We don't make boys! We make girls!
We were shocked.
But there it was. DNA testing even told us he was a boy.
It felt like a VERY long 40 weeks. The girls kept close tabs on which week we were in and couldn't believe how long it was taking. Weeks ticked by one after another but man did they drag. The girls also decided girl clothes were way cuter than boy clothes but its a small price to pay for having a brother they agreed. They were so sweet and were always asking questions, 'how long until he can eat real food, how long until he walks, talks, laughs...' You name it, they wanted to know.
After a wonderful pregnancy and a labor I never want to experience again, our perfect baby boy was born.
Ryan.
9/25/18.
8 lbs. 20.5 inches.
He came out and it felt like forever waiting for him to cry.
Then, suddenly I heard it.
And I completely lost it and broke down sobbing.
Our 3rd baby. A boy.
After a decade of thinking we'd never hear the first cry of another baby of ours.
...Despite the odds, the baby that shouldn't have been here... was.
They put him on my chest and just like that, we were 100% complete.
One look into his eyes and I knew.
He was the missing piece.
I couldn't believe we had lived without him for so long.
This time around feels so different. I'm not sure if it's because we're an entire decade older or just because so much went into bringing this final life into our house.
But really, I just feel so insanely lucky. Very much a 'pinch me' feeling happening everyday.
Multiple times a day I find myself with all the feels thinking, 'the days are long but the years are short'.
It could be hormones but I'm sure it's just happiness but often I get that weird feeling in my heart like it's going to explode from the realization that we have 3 amazing kids. That Chris and I lucked out and found the perfect person to put up with our crazy and that this is my actual life.
...feeling instant and unbelievable love for someone that almost never was.
I can't believe we almost missed this.
He is every bit as amazing as his sisters.
The girls love him to pieces... they love when he tucks them in at night, they love reading to him, just staring at him, talking to him, holding his hands, giving him baths, picking out his clothes, combing his hair, having him pick them up from school, going on walks with him...
For now, I'm enjoying soaking up every minute with him and its definitely more difficult to manage two older kids schedules and a newborn. I'll get it figured out eventually but for now I'm giving myself a free pass to live life in a way that works for us and survival mode it's going to be for now.
