Being A Parent...

You know... I always thought that the hardest part of being a parent in those first months would be the sleepless nights and inconsolable crying that just tugs at your heartstrings.

Now, I realize that those things are all fine and dandy. What's really hard is something Chris and I will live with for the rest of our lives. We wont get over it just because she's 1 year or 5 years old.

Chloe doesn't feel right. She's just been all around cranky. Two days ago, she had a temperature of 102 degrees that I thought may be due to teething. I gave her some Tylenol and she seemed to feel a little better...

But the hardest part of being a parent came last night at midnight when she woke up and started crying. I thought for a couple minutes about letting her cry herself back to sleep but something just told me to go in there. Good thing I did. Her temperature was 103.1! I stripped her down, gave her a cool bath, some Tylenol and a bottle. Then, the unexpected. Poop to her neck. I gagged, she cried, we hosed her off and gave her another bath.

I felt so helpless, so scared. It's amazing, when she's got a head cold or something, I don't worry - I know what's going on, I can see all the symptoms, I can easily monitor her. But with a fever, there are so many unanswered questions. What could it be?! I felt such an overwhelming need to do everything right. Mistakes here are not okay. This is our daughter we're talking about!! Does it warrant a trip to the ER or do we just keep an eye on her until morning when I can get her into the doctor?

I watched her closely, she was acting normal, happy and exhausted. I rechecked her temp, 100.5. Thank goodness. I put her in a onesie and rocked her. She cuddled up tightly, put her arms around my neck, sighed and went to sleep. I did not.

I got us into the doctor this morning at 8. He's a little concerned there aren't more symptoms, just a fever and one blowout doesn't really give us an explanation. Then, something I didn't expect to hear. He'd like her urine to test. I was happy to give over her diaper... except that wasn't what he wanted. Needless to say, within 10 minutes our daughter had a catheter up in her lady bits. They got their sample and Chloe acted like nothing had ever happened. I however am scarred for life. Result= her urine is normal.

Because her fevers are so high, the doctor wants us to go back in tomorrow morning so he can see how she's doing so we're not left stranded over the weekend with an even sicker baby. He thinks it's just some kind of virus that will run it's course, resulting in continued fevers and he expects more diarrhea. How exciting. The fact that she's not having more diarrhea seemed to concern him a little. He also did warn me that tomorrow, they may do some blood drawing. Good thing Chris has tomorrow off. Two days of poking isn't my idea of a good time. I'm pretty sure Chloe isn't too excited either.

Sooo keep babycakes in your thoughts. I'm sure she'll be fine, I just hate fevers this high. Then again, she's really never had a fever. So I hate this even more.

Oh, and we're 18 weeks along today! Only I look like I'm about 25 weeks along! Just a few more days until I turn a quarter of a century and we find out for sure the sex of our newest addition to the family.

Good times at the Johnson household!