Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I must have SUCKER written across my head.

Warning: This is post is one LONG, Gigantic VENT (but oddly enough I am in quite a good mood today)...Don't worry - there are pictures at the end! (Feel free to fast forward to them to avoid the vent.

Dear religious devouts who keep ringing the doorbell and waking up the baby:
I understand you want me to hear the word. I understand that because I am not a part of your specific religious community, you believe that I am not going to a great place when I die. I'm pretty sure your religion would rather you don't come to my door on an almost DAILY basis and wake up the baby. Seriously.
I am sorry if I offend anyone with what I write in this post. That is not my intention and I'm not against anyone's personal religious decision, I just would rather nobody try and push their religious opinions on me. I actually opened the door on accident one time, (in a sleep deprived haze as Chloe cried in her crib upstairs), and they wanted to talk to me for 10 minutes about how awful the internet was and how I'm corrupting my family for using it and how I need to read their literature so that my child doesn't grow up in the crummy society that people like myself have created... It's not like the ring once, either (which by then, Chloe is up and screaming), but then they ring 2+ times, knock on our security gate, then try opening it to knock on our actual door, then they knock on the side of the house (like we couldn't hear the first 4)...
wait a few more minutes, rumble around with their papers, leave me some wonderful scripture to read...then slowly walk away and look back at our house like 15 times just to be SURE I wasn't just ridiculously slow. Nope, I am in fact ignoring you or tending to the now crying baby. They don't even take off their helmets anymore!

You know, now that I think about it, it seems like EVERYWHERE I go these days, someone wants to sucker me into something I don't need. Costco does their stupid sales pitch almost everytime I go now. They see the baby in the cart and immediately scan my card as I'm checking out, then some annoying sales person follows me to the exit telling me how much I can save by upgrading to the expensive membership now that I have some "extra expenses" coming up. Ugh. PEOPLE! My food is DEFROSTING as you're giving me your pitch. My baby needs a nap and you want to show me on your scanner gun how much I can get back next year. A whopping 28.00 (even though it's an extra 50.00 to upgrade). Don't they understand I can do math?! So, My message to Costco is: Why don't you give me the pitch when I walk in the door, before the baby is pissed, before I have frozen food in my cart... or better yet, why not just SEND me something in the mail with my renewal outlining what I spent last year and how much our refund would be next year if we upgraded! Do you really have to publicly declare that I spent wayyy too much at your place last year? Perhaps I am better off not even renewing. :) Haha. That would make them leave me alone...I would hope. Or maybe they should just have a little thing that comes up when they scan our card for the 10th time that says "This person wasn't interested the last 10 times, leave them alone!"
WOW. That was long winded. Yes. I am slightly peeved today with doorbell ringers and Costco membership people.

So, In good fun, I have been labeled a scker by religious devouts, Costco and now my own daughter. She goes down for her nap like a good little girl most times, however, after about 30 minutes she's up! You can tell she's still exhausted but she just wants you to have to keep coming in and putting in her paci over and over and over again. I dont mind but it's not productive so I end up putting her in our bed so it's easier for me to be on paci duty. She's too early to cry-it-out, so does anyone have any suggestions about this?! Is my kid the only one who needs her paci to sleep??
(Notice how she's happy as a CLAM!)

Ok. If you've made it this far, I'm going to give you some more pictures as your reward ...

(A Thanksgiving Outfit Preview)... Seriously. How could you NOT want to kiss those cheeks??


Anonymous said...

I am sitting at my desk at work long after everyone has gone home and I am laughing my head off. Your "vent" is filling me with such joy. I can't tell you how much I love your stories. Oh, and the pictures of Chloe are beautiful. She gets more adorable everytime you send something. Here is my paci advice.....enjoy these days. They are gone in the blink of an eye. One day, Chloe won't need you to do anything for her...and you will remember this time with fondness and a sense of loss for your little girl. Little girls do grow up! Be patient. A "blink" is gone in a flash. Love you....and your sweet family. Mom

Anonymous said...

Hmm, nobody we actually want to see uses the doorbell. Maybe we can get Chuck to rig it to shock the hell out of anyone who rings it.

Anonymous said...

By the way....did you pay for those sunglasses?