Monday, April 12, 2010

A Million and One things…

Are floating around inside my head right now.

Especially since my head is finally coming out of the fog.

I had a cold ALL of last week that really knocked me out.

I actually consumed an entire bottle of Dayquil to try and survive.

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There were questionable outfits worn (when we weren’t in pajamas) and cartoons on. All.Day.Long.All.Week.Long.

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Our child is now a tv-a-holic.

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We need an intervention.

Last night I laid in bed, unable to sleep, drafting a fabulous blog in my head.

I do that more often than I care to admit.

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As always, the second my eyes close, so does my draft.

Unsaved.

Forgotten for the rest of time.

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I want to record as much as I can.

I’ve been really sentimental lately…

…The passing time is catching me off guard.

Honestly, I turned around yesterday and Chloe was no longer a baby… She’s a full-blown little girl now.

How do I know?

She finally has enough hair to do this:

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I know.

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Ridiculous.

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She is also sporting painted toes these days.

She didn’t care much for the process of painting them once the first foot was done.

This morning, her other bottom tooth poked through. IMG_8108

We’re up to 6 on the bottom and 6 on the top!

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And Lauren…She’s just Lauren.

Awesome.

She can be out running errands… quiet and happy no matter how long we’re out. She doesn’t want to miss a party… even if it means missing a nap.

She can also nap on the go… unlike her sister who was more particular about having her specific crib. :)

Lauren has slept unswaddled for a week now.

Not perfectly at all… she is having much a much harder go at getting herself to sleep now.

But she was getting out of her swaddle and waking herself up anyway.

I am trying to come up with a plan to get her to sleep through the night.

I can tell she’s not really hungry at 4:00 because she’ll lay in bed and babble… but within a couple minutes of starting a bottle, she’s out and drinks while she’s asleep.

With Chloe, it was so easy. We just cut out the 4am feed and let Chloe cry for about 15 minutes the first couple days.

NO big deal.

With Lauren, however, I can’t find my will.

Which brings me to my next point.

I am an absolute SOFTIE when it comes to Lauren.

Why!!!!

I think it’s because she’s our last.

I go in and give her a paci instead of letting her cry…

I can handle a few more sleepless nights, walking to her room like a zombie, tripping on all of Chloe’s toys on the way to give Lauren her 4:30am bottle…

I love when she finishes her bottle, she promptly falls asleep on my shoulder snoozing every so quietly. 

I definitely don’t waste our precious alone time.

And, just like Chloe, I turned around and saw her no longer an infant…

She can almost sit on her own now…

I had to move the exersaucer rings up because her feet were dragging on the floor.

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How did this happen?

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I’m having trouble coming to terms with the fact that she’s our last.

And it’s not because I want a boy.

I actually think I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy.

I mean, really, I love our family as it is right now.

Adding one more whether now or in 5 years just doesn’t fit like our little family of 4.

There are so many reasons to stick with the number we have now.

We’d have to put up our 3rd row of seats…and now, having all that room for strollers and other stuff is wonderful.

We’d have to go through diapers all over again and late nights and complete exhaustion in the beginning…

So, why am I so scared of the finality of being done??

As hard on a body as pregnancy is,

I can honestly say I miss being pregnant.

And I’m afraid I will always miss it.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this and it will get easier?

I miss the excitement and anticipation that being pregnant brings…

Oddly enough, I miss the exhausted happiness that delivering babies brings me.

Tell me that I’ll grow out of this.

That my babies will stay little just like they are for a while longer.

I think the gloomy, rainy weather is making me a sap-fest.

Perhaps it’s the cold that I can’t quite make go away completely.

Ok. Enough for today.

Naptime is almost over.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Honey. Everyone feels like you do. The finality of your last baby is the end of one chapter but you have so many chapters left to live. My gosh...your babies are still small. Enjoy each and every day (as I know you do) and don't worry about things you cannot change. Your family is the right size for you. You are so so lucky to have the babies you have....they are perfect in every way. They are precious. They are beautiful and funny. They are so much like their mommy and daddy. Enjoy your life. It is good. xooxMOM/GIGI