Friday, January 22, 2010

Not sure...

I'm not exactly sure when it happened...
But at some point recently, life with the girls just started to feel natural.

Don't confuse that with life being easy or relaxing.
It is not.
It's a LOT of work.
A battle each morning to get in front of everything so I can stay ahead of the game.
But to see Lauren smile at Chloe just melts me.
And that makes it all worth it.

Maybe it's because Lauren just seems so much older and more grown up now. Maybe it's because she has better control of her movements, she gurgle/babbles constantly and she really can't.stop.smiling as long as she isn't exhausted or hungry.

Recently someone (accidentally?) said something that I'm sure most people think but keep to themselves when they see us...but it really caught me off guard. Most people will comment on how we have our hands full or just say our girls are beautiful or something along those lines. But what I got this time was, "Oopsie... That's a big Mistake" or something about making a mistake. It really took me back and I guess it's been on my mind since that day.
I was quick to correct her, to tell her that we knew what we were doing and we wanted Lauren and we wanted our kids to be really close in age.
It's not so much that she said it that bothers me, I can't really put my finger on it, but I know that I don't want Lauren to ever think she was an accident. She wasn't.
It also makes me feel like a bad person. People who don't know me at all must just assume I made this huge mistake and now I have to live with the consequences. They don't know how happy our girls make us. For the most part, especially when we're out in public, I have my act together. I don't look discombobulated, not overly frazzled and I only look slightly discheveled (or so I like to think)... but my kids are happy. I'm happy. My husband and I are happy. Right honey?! ;)

Anyway, I'm over it but I just have to put it out there.
Dear Lauren: We love you very much and you were and still are very very wanted!
You bring just the right amount of chaos to our house.
It's full of smiles and laughter each and every day.
The End.


alyssa said...

We just found out we're expecting again, just eleven months after Trevor was born. And while it was a 'surprise', it certainly wasn't a 'mistake'!
That comment is my biggest fear! I'm afraid I won't be able to hold my tongue when someone dares to say something along those lines :)
And, like you, I don't want #2 to ever feel like he or she wasn't wanted!
Good for you for getting it out there :)

Anonymous said...

AMEN! xooxoMOM

Anonymous said...

I love you. Thinking of you today, as always. xoxoGigi/Mom