Wednesday, September 9, 2009

here we go...

The countdown is on to Chloe's official birthday.
I can't help but look at the clock and think about what was going on this time last year.
It's 9:00... we were 2 hours into our induction.
We had a nice gourmet Taco Bell dinner.
Our nurse, Kathy, was sweet. It was her first day as an official employee.
Poor woman wouldn't know what hit her in a few hours.
(She actually chose to stay to see Chloe born so I think she wanted to see who was causing all the agony. I figured she would have wanted to get the heckoutta dodge but if you ask me, we had come so far together...she wanted to see this thing to fruition!)
I had been given an IV in case we needed it later, vial after vial after vial of blood had been drawn for who knows what and lastly, cervadil had been 'administered' at 7:00.
Family had been notified; expect to be checked in 12 hours is what we had been told. If no progress, they'd try another 12 hour round of cervadil and then they'd start pitocin. The baby may not even be born until September 11th.
I settled into my hospital bed, dressed in what was perhaps the ugliest hospital gown in the world. I tucked my favorite pillow from home behind my head and began to wait.
Chris had gone home to do some school work. I told him he could sleep there if he wanted; we were in for the long haul. Or so we thought. As if he sensed that, he called back and said he was on his way.
I remember laying in our dark hospital room with the tv glaring back at us. We were watching baseball although I couldn't tell you who was playing. For some reason I think it was Boston.
Oh what does it matter!?
At about 11 pm I got up to go to the bathroom.
I must have dozed off...
But let me tell you.
When you sit up and it feels like you are peeing your pants... you are wide awake instantly.
Not to mention at the very same moment, I felt a crazy pain.
I don't think it even hit me until I got to the bathroom that my water had broken and I was in labor.

I just remember feeling this unbelievable excitement.
You wait and wait and wait... and then go overdue... all waiting for the moment you go into labor. The moment you begin the process of bringing your baby into the world.
I felt like I needed to do something to get it going even more, so we decided to take a stroll. I strapped on another luxuriously hideous hospital gown to cover my backside and off we went. We walked for about 20 minutes and by the time we got back to the room, my labor had become so intense that things honestly get fuzzy.
I'll skip forward, past all the crazy screaming woman parts.
But really, I remember honestly thinking I was going to die.
That there was no way my body could actually handle this much pain.
I was way too weak of an individual for this kind of thing.
I'm not cut out for this.
Where is the stop/off button?!
But, as the sun began to rise... there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Not to mention the promise of an anesthesiologist.
Too bad Chloe was clawing her way out before he could even arrive.
She was on her way and there was nothing I could do about it.
Except scream.

What an amazing ride that night was just one short year ago.
Your daddy and I were so excited.
Your arrival was nothing short of spectacular.
Just like you.
You light up every room you are in.
You can make people forget their pain.
Just one little flash of your dimple and people fall. Hard.

Happy almost birthday, baby girl.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jenny. I woke up early today and thought about Chloe and her entrance into the world just one year ago today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET CHLOE! What a great surprise (I wouldn't have expected anything else from you) to find your update! What an incredible gift to your baby girl Chloe..such a sweet (thought painful) story to read. Not a soul can tell you what it means to have a baby of your own. The love you feel is like no other for ANY other human being. I feel so lucky to be a part of your great ride through life Jenny. You were always such a joy to us...a blessing. And now we have Chloe and soon...Lauren Rose. Grandma Jeri "Rose" would have been so touched by your gesture. She loved you so much and knew you were destined for great things. The love you gave to her made me so happy and proud of you. You understood the power of love way back then when it wasn't cool to be best friends with your grandma. I can't ever thank you enough for the affection and love you gave to MY mom. May those memories enrich your life always and know that what you give of yourself has come back full circle to the joy little Chloe brings to you daily. I love you all so much. Have a great day with your 1 year old. xooxxoMOM/GIGI

Anonymous said...

I also got up early knowing it is Chloe's 1st birthday and there would be something special posted. Thank you Jen for sharing with us.Happy Birthday Chloe. Love LJ

Anonymous said...

I'm going to video this one, so it doesn't get "fuzzy" for you =P.

Chris

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing with us Jen... Birthdays are just as special for the parents as it is for the lil ones. Happy Birthday Chloe, we love you very much.
Jennell, Jeff & Kailynn