Friday, June 12, 2009

The Name.

Lately, I've been feeling really uncomplete not having a name for this baby.
I mean, with Chloe, the second we found out she was a girl, we knew her name.
There have been so many unexpecteds with this pregnacy.
We didn't know if it was a girl for sure, we didn't have a name and now the fluid thing.
I really needed a name for this baby.
It's almost like I felt naked without one.

Chris and I have been toying with one name for a really REALLY long time but we couldn't commit. Back to the drawing board we went.
We really wanted the name Zoe. Haha.
C'mon.
Chloe and Zoe.
No?

We werent' at the drawing board long when we realized we had the name all along.

What's different is the middle name.
Enter long story # 2 of the day.
If you knew me about 10 years ago, you'd know that I had a grandma who lived near us that I absolutely adored. I don't think I've really mentioned her on the blog and honestly, I think that is partly because I haven't really been able to deal with this in real life either.
I'm going to try to avoid super mushy gushy details but she was everything I've always aspired to be. She was such a gorgeous, vibrant woman who always had the perfect amount of class, style, poise AND accessories for every outfit.
Oh here I go, getting mushy and gushy.
I have so many amazing memories of my time with her.
I could fill an entire book.

Every big life event (and even the small ones) that I've gone through since her passing, she has never been forgotten. She was with me the day Chloe was born, for my high school and college graduation and the day I married Chris. She would love him. I would give anything to have her back even for just a day.

It's amazing how many times since she's passed I think about her and wonder if she's proud of who I am or what I've done. I don't have to think hard, however, because she was always proud of me. No matter what.

Honestly, we were and still are kindred souls. She has left such a huge imprint on my heart. I thought that by now, I'd think about her less or not feel sad when I thought about her, but honestly, I'm realizing it's the opposite. I think about her more these days and I'm so sad she isn't physically here to see my daughters.

Our story is something I should continue writing for myself to see, not the whole world.
It is therapeutic to have a blog, I have to admit.
Seriously.
GO get one for yourself.

I'm off to write myself a book about a woman.

One last thing.
I'm SO glad we decided on using her middle name Rose in this baby's name.
It just feels right to see her legacy continue.
I feel like it's exactly what I needed to honor her.
My grandma would have been SO SO so so proud.
Just like this baby should be.

Sooo, to our sweet little

Lauren Rose

If I were you, I'd stay put and keep baking.
You have a big pair of shoes to fill when you get into the world.
I'd make sure they're Ferragamo's if I were you.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow...you had a lot to say. It is good that you had encouraging report about Lauren Rose! I know all will be well with her. I am touched by your honoring grandma Jeri with such a beautiful name for the baby. I am not sure you know this but grandma's dad's first name (grandpa Mack) was Loren. I love the name and know grandma would be smiling from ear to ear (she probably is). I love all of you....get going on that book Jenny. That last line about the Ferragamos sent me over the edge!!! YOu are amazing!! Take good care of you! xooxMOM

Anonymous said...

Very beautiful name, totally loving it...and story to make it even more special, she will be honored... i agree with your mom you really do need to write a book, you are a hoot.
Jennell